Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Just let me vent

My freaking hormones are everywhere. Up, down, and all around.
Sometimes I seriously hate being a woman.
This is going to be one of those blogs where I just complain.
Today, it'll be my sister.
I bought her and her friend Preds tickets a couple weeks ago and have yet to see the money.
Yet, she's paraded in and out of the house with new shoes, a new wallet, and has gone and bought a bridesmaid's dress. It's $20. Seriously?!
Now, I'm not in a desperate need for the money, but it's a decency thing. It's like she walks around thinking she's on top of the world and doesn't have to worry about anything. She's irresponsible about almost everything.
She says her biggest fear is disappointing our parents. And I get that. I'm always worried about that too. But if you're so worried, you work your tail off to make sure you don't do anything that could possibly disappoint them. The fact that she goes out and parties all the time irritates me. She still hasn't told them she failed three classes last semester because of all the partying she did. Granted, she's retaking two of them this semester, so the grades will be replaced. But part of being responsible is being honest. Admit that you made a mistake and learn from it. Change your ways and move on with your life. I'm in no way trying to say that I'm perfect because I've made mistakes too. Maybe I just take school more seriously. I know that my future depends on it. If I want to get a good job and move to Nashville and be able to buy and do the things I want to (i.e. Preds tickets), I have to graduate within a reasonable amount of time and with a good understanding of what it is I want to do in my career.
No, I don't have all the answers. But she has put no thought into what she wants to do. She decided to get out of nursing because A&P was too hard. Basing decisions like that on one class seems ridiculous to me. But maybe that's the immaturity. Sometimes I forget that she is 18, but when I see flashes of the mature adult she can be, it gets confusing. I don't want to be her mother, but part of me feels like I got/get the brunt of the parenting. I feel like I am the one who is always under the microscope when it comes to things like school and doing things around the house. I get lecture upon lecture, while she continues the same actions I've gotten lectured for. If my parents won't try to provide some kind of structure, I feel like I have to. I know she doesn't like me trying to tell her things, but I only tell her what I've learned from my experiences. I'm trying to help her avoid the mistakes I've made. She tells me to leave her alone, but if I do that I'm afraid she'll end up on the wrong road. Maybe the me trying to be a mother thing came from me always having to be the other adult when my dad was gone. It wasn't easy growing up in a house like that, but we didn't have a choice.
Maybe after her second semester she'll realize that she can't continue the way she is. Honestly, I don't see anything changing. I still see her being irresponsible with her money and complaining to mom and dad. And it'll continue that way until I can afford to be on my own again. As much as it irritates me, that is life and it's what I'll have to deal with for the foreseeable future.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

People in glass houses.....

Kangaroo dance was a moment of weakness. One time that happened.
And apparently that puts me on the same level of crazy as Kelly.
Less than a month till St. Louis. Good lord I wish it was NOW.

School has started up. It's not too bad. Only have one crazy professor.
Guess I'll have to deal.
I only have 4 classes and books cost me over $500
That kills me. And I'm sure I'll get $25 when I return them. Simply ridiculous.
Working, Schooling, and exercising
Staying busy, which isn't such a bad thing.
No home hockey games till the 3rd, which I'm missing due to work. So my next game will be the 5th. It's a welcome break from the constant driving to and from Nashville, which is pretty much what February will be. 3 games a week for most of the month. Something like ten home games next month.
Killers show next Saturday. Looking forward to that and to our group's Christmas, which we delayed due to everyone being broke.
I hate wrapping presents though.
I'm in the middle of trying to get Nickelback tickets as well. I refuse to sit anywhere but club level. Why isn't important.
Here's hoping Mac comes through and me putting up with the flirting finally gets me somewhere.
Trying to push through the last 2 hours of work with the wet blanket. All Star stuff awaits me when I get home. I'm planting my fat, happy butt in front of the TV for the skills competitions tonight.
Maybe I'll keep motivated and do some aerobic step while I watch, even though sitting down with some pie sounds so much better.
Why is being fat so much easier than being thin?
I miss being lazy.

Saturday, January 17, 2009


I'm going to end up with cats.
Named six and nine.
Hopefully I won't need a three, d, s, and f.
^5 Britney
Here's hoping it's true and time really does heal all wounds.
Relationships are hard, but sometimes the lack of one is harder.
Something's gotta turn around soon.

Weber is hurt. Guess that's what I get for hoping he'd play in all the games this season.
I swear, if it's not one thing it's another.
Poor guy.
Just hope this doesn't hinder his All Star appearance.
And I am very thankful I have a fairly decent head on my shoulders and didn't blow $300+ on an All Star jersey.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

and I know that my heart will go on

Celine Dion has been in my head for days.
It makes being mean to Britney that much easier.
So the Preds suck.
Being at home sucks.
Work sucks.
And school starts in two weeks.
That's a big ball of FAIL
Things just haven't been going too well lately.
Being sick makes it all just a little worse.
But this sick thing may work to my advantage if Ashley won't work for me Wednesday and Thursday.
Jacob is a rockstar for putting together the greatest radio show ever. Shea and Legwand will be there Wednesday. So Sarah wants to go....and of course I want to go.
But I have to get off work first.
I'm afraid they're going to start hating me. I'm leaving at noon today, and then need Wednesday and Thursday off.
I'm missing the Avs game Tuesday, so I guess it could be worse.
Frankly, I'm just not sure I care.
I am the best person they've got in scheduling, so it's not like I'm afraid I'll lose my job. I just don't want to piss people off. But I've been here for the longest, and I hardly ever take off. And I've never called out. So if Ashley won't work for me, I'll probably just end up calling out.
This is exactly why I wish they had let us change the schedule. I would much rather have had to work Mondays and Wednesdays and ever other weekend. I think they were just afraid of change. But honestly, with 3 out of the 4 of us being college students, that would have worked out so much better. But no one seems to care. I should just be here for 2 more years, and after that things should start to work out.
I can't wait to graduate and get a good job, house, etc.