Thursday, September 30, 2010

Is my best enough?

I know I'm a good friend, but every once in awhile things happen that make me wonder. I'm always there for my friends, no matter what. But sometimes I wonder if I'm there in the ways they need me. I don't always have the right words to say or know what I can say to make things better.

One of my friends recently went through a divorce. Having never been in that situation, I've found it really hard to know what to say to try to take the sting off a little. She's been there for me, and has always known what to say to me when I've had guy issues. Now that she needs me to return the favor, I'm worried I can't do as good as she did.

Is there ever really a right thing to be said in situations like this? I've found myself asking myself that question and coming up blank. I'm doing the best I can, and saying what I think needs to be said. I just hope I'm not letting her or anyone else down as a friend. I've got huge expectations for myself not only in life, but in my relationships with other people.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

What's next?

The future is currently scaring the crap out of me. If you know me at all, you know that I'm a creature of habit and not a big fan of change.

So, my upcoming graduation from college has me freaked out. It's taken me a long time and a lot of hard work to get where I am, and now that the end is in sight, I've got all these reservations. If I'm being completely honest, I really want to be a stay at home mom, but seeing as how I have no husband or kids, I have to do something else. In my last post I said I think I've figured out what I want to do: financial planning. Now I'm worrying about how to get into that field and get certified to do it.

I've been at my current job for almost 4 years, and it's scary for me to think about starting over somewhere else. In some ways I'm still that scared teenager who was afraid to start her first job and can't imagine not living at home.

The changes that are bound to take place in the next year of my life are pretty serious. I'll be a college graduate, looking for and hopefully finding a full time job, looking for my own place, possibly moving to another city, and God knows what else. I'm afraid to be thrust into the real world and forced to grow up. Everyone says it will be fine, but no one really knows. So many things could go wrong and throw my entire life out of whack. That's a lot of stress and worry for an almost 22 year old.

I've been looking forward to graduating for so long that I forgot what was going to come after. Life after college is fast approaching, and each day I'm getting more anxious.

Monday, September 27, 2010

It's a beautiful life

I had planned on doing the 30 day meme that Sarah & Ashley are both doing. But since I leave for the cruise in a week and a half, it'll have to wait until I get back. No blogging on the cruise! Pretty excited to get away for a week. We leave the 9th for Jacksonville, and the ship leaves the 11th for Key West and the Bahamas. Excited is an understatement. Even though I'm going with my parents, it's going to be awesome I'm missing the Preds home opener & a Blues game, but I feel like this is the better end of the deal. There will be many more hockey games. Plus if this cruise is as awesome as I think it's going to be, another one may be in the plans for spring break. California (San Jose) was the original plan for spring break, but it's actually pretty chilly there in March. So, we're going in a different direction, and not making spring break about seeing hockey games. As long as I'm somewhere warm with a drink in my hand, I'll be happy!

I'm also looking into going to Wisconsin for a weekend sometime in November. My grandfather isn't doing too well, so I probably need to go up there and visit. It's been awhile.

School is going just about as well as could be expected. Having 3 online classes is definitely a challenge, but I'm doing ok. The stress levels have been getting pretty high, but I've gotten pretty good at managing.

I think I've figured out what I want to do after graduation: financial planning. I don't want to deal so much with the investment side, but helping people make budgets for themselves would be fulfilling. I may have to get a different job while I figure out the certification and other requirements for it, but it's nice to finally have a direction to take my degree after struggling with the decision for awhile.

Sarah told me I need to blog more, so I need to find some inspirations for topics to write about. Life updates was a good place to start. But my life isn't exciting enough to write about every day.