Monday, July 26, 2010

She's alive!

Since we are no longer allowed to get online at work, both of my blogs have fallen by the wayside. You would think that summer would have provided more time to update this, but working two jobs has been pretty exhausting.
I also think I've got some health issues going on. My hormones must be really out of whack. My periods are really irregular, I get dark hairs on my face and arms, and I can just burst into tears for no reason. I am a big ball of hormones and emotions. I am going to the doctor this Wednesday. First pap smear so I'm a little nervous. Ok, a lot nervous. I hate the unknown, but I know this is something that needs to be done. I'm hoping to get some answers on this hormonal issue, maybe some medication or something. I'm tired of feeling crazy all the time.
I feel like I'm ready to go back to school. There's still about a month left of vacation, but I want to get back to class and get it over with. Two more semesters left, and I'm every bit of ready for it. Again, I am nervous about life after college, but it'll be a new challenge. Whatever happens, God has a plan, and I have to believe that.
Lots of things are changing in life these days. Friends are falling by the wayside and relationships are changing. I have found out who my real friends are in the past few months. Losing friends sucks, but I can't have these toxic relationships in my life anymore. I have to change things for me. Kaily is also moving to Colorado. For real this time. She's leaving around the 15th of August. And yes, she just decided this like two weeks ago. Again, I don't agree with the decision, but she's gonna do what she wants. I just hope she doesn't come to regret the rash decision. She hasn't thought of the full gravity of it: losing insurance, etc. so she'll soon found out just how hard it is. Hope she knows that it's hard to just pick up and move back across the country after you realize you're wrong. I want to prevent her from making the same mistake moving out too early like I did, but she's got her mind set. So we'll see how it all works out.
I don't even want to talk about Jacob. This summer has sucked with the weight of that weighing on me day in and day out. Only about 2 months until I have to deal with that awkwardness weekly. Frankly, I don't know how I'm going to handle it. Trying not to get in my head about it.
Life's just been trying lately and I'm getting emotionally overwhelmed.